Op-Ed

Sometimes I Need to Be Slapped – Weekly Gaming Check-in for 1/12/20

I WANT TO LOVE YOU SO BADLY

Weekly Gaming Thoughts

Hey friends, how are ya? Me? I’m sore in my face. Why? Because I’m in something of an abusive relationship. See, I want to love Total War: Warhammer II so very badly. I really want to enjoy all of its factions and gameplay nuances and campaigns, but I CAN’T BECAUSE IT HATES ME SO MUCH AND JUST SLAPS ME ALL THE TIME.

See, I’ve tried to start playing this game maybe a dozen times now. A few times I started a Vortex campaign as the High Elves, which apparently is the “easiest” way to play. I got smacked down in short order. I then tried the same Vortex campaign with a few other factions, most recently one of the Lizardmen factions. The one labeled “easy” for campaign difficulty, I forget the specific name (because their names are CRAYYYYY).

I lost my first fight. First. Got crushed. Horribly. Barely got any units out. I reloaded and let the AI play the game, thanks to one of the mods that allows you to put the AI in control of your own armies. Lost that battle too.

So how am I supposed to love this game when it refuses to love me in return? When it just hurts me so very badly, over and over again? I dunno what to do because they keep releasing DLC for it and I WANT ALL OF IT BECAUSE IT’S SO PRETTY and huge and I feel like I could play it forever except GAH IT HATES ME.

I swear I’ll come back to you one more time though, baby. I wanna make it work.

What I’ve Been Playing

Total War: Warhammer II – GOD IT HATES ME.
Warhammer 40,000: Inquisitor – A Warhammer games I’m actually good at. Nearly done the prophecy campaign, started a warzone. Fun times.
ARMA III – Playing through the initial campaign in single-player and wow I’m terrible, but getting better. I had to turn every visual aid one because it’s like “TAKE OUT THAT MAN AT 40 METERS?” “WHERE? *dead*” So yeah, I need help. Thankfully this is all just in single-player so my performance doesn’t matter really and I’m just playing to enjoy it.

What I’m Planning on Playing

Tomb Raider – I might, MIGHT return to this after taking some time off. I hit some really damned hard part of the game and totally noped out.
Destiny 2 – Gotta do some playing in preparation for our LAN Party on Thursday night.
Strike Fighters 2 – Those Ruskies aren’t gonna be driven out of Germany on their own, now are they?

That’ll do it for this week y’all. What are you folks playing lately?

Brian Rubin